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HomeA View On The World'Ello 'Ello 'Ello - Can I Be Your Friend?

‘Ello ‘Ello ‘Ello – Can I Be Your Friend?

It’s been an exciting time this summer. The sun worshippers have been in their element and there has been much going on as we return to pre-COVID schedules. Even firefighters have had ample opportunity to get outside, as swathes of countryside decided to self-combust in the sweltering 30 degree heat.

The intense weather has not put a stop to a number of events and festivals taking place. Glastonbury fans were able to watch numerous acts perform on numerous stages, whilst they enjoyed smoking numerous splifs. All whilst being able to stand on firm ground, rather than up to their knees in mud and goodness knows what else!

The Leeds and Reading festivals were also able to go ahead this year. These events were enjoyed by many thousands of people, who decided the music was not enough and set about setting fire to as many tents as they could find. Did no-one receive the memo about no outdoor naked flames or BBQs? The hooligan element was back, but apparently this behaviour is acceptable, as these poor people have missed out on opportunities to ‘smash stuff up’ due to COVID and event cancellations over the last few years.

In a response to the disorder at Leeds festival, West Yorkshire Police said “While some reports of anti-social behaviour were received, no reports were made to West Yorkshire Police regarding any serious disorder at the festival during the final night.”

The fact that “explosions” were going on until about 10:00am on Monday morning does not appear to be a concern for West Yorkshire Police, who were either tucked up in bed early or were too busy trying to make friends with the looters.

A similar thing happened at the Notting Hill Carnival last weekend. Despite the Metropolitan Police Force being under ‘special measures’ and down 20,000 officers over the last 5 years, the event still went ahead for the first time in three years. Anyone with a few brain cells could predict everyone would go a ‘bit nuts’. And they did.

Luckily, the Met still found time to get onto Twitter to say ‘We’re not aware of any significant issues’ and ‘We would love to say hello, and come and speak to us if you need any help.’ Nice.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan was also present on the streets of Notting Hill and Tweeted some more nonsense, by describing his enjoyment of the carnival proceedings as ‘the vibes are immaculate.’

The statistics tell a slightly different story, with over 200 of arrests, a record number of knives seized, a 21 year old man being stabbed to death, multiple other stabbings, 74 police officers injured and two policewomen sexually assaulted.

There was a radio talk show following the carnival carnage to discuss the image of the modern day police force. This came about after images of police officers appeared online with them dancing with the crowds, wearing ‘gay pride’ hats and having a general hoot of a time across a series of summertime events. Every man, woman and mad dog were allowed to call in to the radio show to offer their opinion on the subject.

There was a mixed bag of views as you would expect. One woman decided that police officers should be banned from wearing earrings or beards, so that they all looked the same.

One male caller was furious that police officers were shown in a video together doing the ‘macaroni’ dance. He may have meant the macarena, but who knows. The general consensus was that the police have now become too friendly, too ‘woke’ and as a consequence, no longer hold any authority in the public space.

This opinion seems to be backed up by the new TV series ‘Hotel Custody’, where detainees are treated as customers first, rather than criminals. Each of the 36 cells include CCTV, toilets, wash basins, intercom and ‘room service’. After assaulting a few police officers during the previous evening, the detainee will then be asked if they would like some toast and marmalade with their morning newspaper?

Which seems to sum up the whole situation quite nicely. Those at the top of the tree continue to ignore the issues and walk around as if there are no problems. Police officers on the street continue to try and win over the public by joining in with the madness, because they are so outnumbered they have no other choice. And police numbers continue to fall, because no-one wants to work at Notting Hill or any other event, where they will end up getting injured or sexually assaulted, before having to serve the defendants a fancy breakfast, just for a days pay!

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