As I sat down the other night to tuck into a fish finger sandwich, with extra dollops of tartar sauce, I did a bit of channel hopping on the TV. I managed to discover a rather interesting programme, where a bunch of ‘so called experts’ were telling us common folk how to save electricity, and money, this winter.
The first thing I noticed is that all of the ‘experts’ appeared to be dressed like they had just left the Woodstock festival from the late 1960’s. So without even having to watch more than a mere few seconds, I was immediately educated that if I wanted to save money, all I need to do is purchase my clothes from a charity shop from now on. Although I probably did not need a 21-year old ‘TV expert’ to tell me that!
As I continued to watch in sheer boredom, it was amazing to hear the advice that they were giving. For one moment I had to check that I was not watching the CBeebies channel. For example, did you know that it’s cheaper if you do not use your tumble dryer at all? Also, it is better to use your washing machine with one full load, rather than two half loads. This was revealing stuff!!
The experts then moved on to talking about fridge freezers. Despite the whole of the UK going out and spending extra money on fantastic energy saving devices, we ‘plebs’ are still doing it all wrong. You should not be running your freezer with it only half full. No. You need it rammed full of stuff, even if it is full of things that you do not want, in order to maximise its energy efficiency.
For instance, the curly haired expert said that I should fill my freezer with cheap loaves of bread or even water bottles, so that it would work most efficiently. It doesn’t matter if I cannot find any of my real food, or if I’m stuck with a load of freezer tasting dry bread, it had to be done to save those few pennies. Funny how there was no mention of the pennies spent purchasing those old loaves in the first place. What about if you cannot simply afford to buy out of date bread in the first place, because everyone is fighting over the reduced price items down at your local supermarket?
I couldn’t face watching much more of this, as by this point, it was almost making me choke on my Crème Brûlée dessert. I felt trapped somewhere between playschool and 1960. It is incredible that although we can deliver an astronaut to the International Space Station on an almost weekly basis and I can track my Tesco food delivery all the way from the depot, but I cannot use my washing machine without fear of running up a crushing debt.
Why did we all bother going out to buy these incredible energy efficient white goods if we are now only going to use the base setting at the lowest temperature. I bought a dishwasher and I intend to continue to use the darn thing, no matter what a 20-something bearded eco-warrior tells me.
It does feel like the human race is taking one giant leap forward with one foot, whilst taking one giant leap backwards with the other. And in my book, that is going to leave us doing ‘the splits’, which is going to be a painful experience for everyone.
So we all need to be prepared to live like we are still in the 1970s, but with less risqué comedy on the television. I already have my plan of action to save power and it is one that the ‘experts’ were never going to tell us to do. It is going to start with turning off the television, because there is nothing decent to watch on it. Not only will that save a load of electricity, but the added bonus is that it will silence the so called ‘energy experts’ and their ridiculous energy saving advice!
